Schmurgen's Observer Graphic Short story competition entry

The winner f the observer competition has been announced- sadly it is not me! Maybe I too uncompromising for them! Anyway here is Schmurgen's entry- enjoy!

Schmurgen dolls and nanowrimo!

Greetings fellow comics lovers! I hope everyone had an uncompromising Halloween!
Anyway, I gonna let you in on some great news- as well as making uncompromising comics, I have decided to branch out into making merchandise also, starting with sChmurgen dolls. That's right- you could soon have your own cuddly little schmurgen to take to bed with you! Here is picture- see if you can pot the real Schmurgen!As you can see these is highly uncompromising hand made items, which I gonna sell at all future Schmurgen cons, as well as any othet conventions I can get to (possibly including Leeds!

As you can see they are lovingly crafted with detailed masks and removable trousers. schmurgen dolls is retailing for £10 each, and you get a free minicomic! If you are interested in ordering one, or of getting my Uncompromising comic, then email schmurgen (dot) jonerhaffs (a t) gmail (d o t) com


Other big news is I gonna be taking part in nanowrimo. This is where you have to write a 50,000 word novel in November. Yeaterday was the 1st and I already got a good start. I gonna post some on here pretty soon.

Schmelephant Wergends!

Hello, there, Schmurgaholics! I know many of you is clamering to know how was Schmurgen con 2: Birning ham International Comics Shendig! Well soon I will satisfy your anxiety! But first I gonna say a fer things about this site called Elephant words.

Elephants words is a grete website filled with uncompromising writing created by a talented man called Nikolai Pappycoconuts. There are six regular writers, and every sunday one of them posted a photo and then they all take turns to write a story based on the photo. Is cool, yes! And what's even cooler is that Schmurgen is one of the writers! I have been on the site for a while now, and I am planning to stay until they get sickened of me!

Anyway, last week it was my turn to post the photo, and I posted a picture of a comic convention so that I can write about schmurgen con! Of course as the siteis based around fiction I have did a fictionalised basis of Schmurgen con, but reas insured it is closer than the truth!

Click here to read about 'Jurgen Con too!'

Click here for list of all my elephatns!

Schmurgen Con 2 is goooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I haf good news for friends and fans of teh greatest comics convention experience in the entire UNIVERSE:



Yes. That is right my little dingkers - Schmurgen Con 2 is on.
Yeah!
Baby!


EDIT: Even more good news. I haf made a poster!

As usual Schmurgen Con (2!) is hapening at the New Glob Pub in Mile End london. It is here, and very close to Mile End central tube line (don't use teh District line it is siht!)

Special guests are diffcult to organise in 24hours notice, but I think these people will come. Especially Nixsigt who is my boss on Elephant Words!



EDIT: David Bailie (I sleep on his coach) has been to tell me that since Schmurgen Con 2 is on Saturday I have more then 24hours to rganise. Which reminds me - it is his birthday this week. Also famose writer Leon Chewit. Also there will be three copies of new B/A.A.S.T.Ar.D.s Anthology by Dam Lester and Francesca Casaveti at Schmurgen Con. Only 3!!! Buy them while they are hot!

New poster:

EDIT: Also on sale will be my new comic entittled How To Make Comic Convention The Uncomrpomising Way. Will be sure to collectors iteam and worth billions when you are dead.

EDIT: Animation in this poste is NSFW! Do not watch if you at work. You will be fired! Oh. Too late.

I am not Shane Azzopardee

Hello, anonymous internet based friends! Recently several peoples have emailed me saying 'Are you really Shane Azzopardee of The Necessery Monster comic?' One person even has claimed that he knows for certan That I am Shane, and that Schmurgen is an invention of him and Dan Goobery to help relax after working on The Necessary Monster for so long. Well this is wrong! Schmurgen is his own person! That piccture is not Shane Azzopardee in mask! It is Schmurgen! And Schmurgen wear mask for personal reasons! And even though Shane Azzopardi is tremendous artist capable of drawing in different styles he did not draw Schmurgen comic! Schmurgen did!

176 And Midnight Meat Train

Hello Schmurgen Friends! I am hard in work on new comics which will be sale at 176 exhibition on 27th june! I no have my own space but Dam Lester and David Bailiy have kindly offered to have me across their table. Thanks, you gays!


Movie review: Midnight Meat Train



This movie not very good, but it has intreging plot. It about this photographer who is not very good. Even Brooke Shields tell him 'you no good!' Then one day he thinks he sees a killer on late night train and he start following him around. Not to stop him, but so he can take uncompromising photos! This my kind of film I think! But after that it goes down hill. Story is boring and predictable and characters are flat as my friend Oyvin after he was crushed by elephant in unfortunate zoo tragedy. It had some good points- uncompromising photos, suddeen unexplained monsters that appear at end with no explanation and man who got his balls cut off in Hostel 2, but overall it was dissapointment.

No toilet paper and the eagel awards

Hello comics friends! I am finally putting up a new page, but first I would like to ask something of you all. Uk eagle comics awards are soon, and I would be greatful if you nominate me! Please go to http://www.eagleawards.co.uk/ and put Schmurgen Jonerhaffs in best newcomer categories, and put Schmurgen Jonerhaff's Uncompromising Comic in best new comic (unless you are nominating yourself in those categories, then please nominate me for different ones!)

Now here is another page of comics.