Monday, 14 December 2009


Good news for Schmurgen lovers. I havs decided to begin acepting requests to do commissions! That is right my friends- you could owne a pice of original and unique artwork, stained by the jhand of a genius! For a negotiable price I will do the drawing of your desire, either with pen and ink, or drawn intirely in red wine for that authentic 'starving artist who has no money for paint cos he spent it all on wine' feel. I wll draw anything from Spider-Man recieving a parking ticket to Dennis Hopper in the bath! Email schmurgen (dot) jonerhaffs (at) gmail (dot) com

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Schmurgen's Observer Graphic Short story competition entry

The winner f the observer competition has been announced- sadly it is not me! Maybe I too uncompromising for them! Anyway here is Schmurgen's entry- enjoy!

Monday, 2 November 2009

Schmurgen dolls and nanowrimo!

Greetings fellow comics lovers! I hope everyone had an uncompromising Halloween!
Anyway, I gonna let you in on some great news- as well as making uncompromising comics, I have decided to branch out into making merchandise also, starting with sChmurgen dolls. That's right- you could soon have your own cuddly little schmurgen to take to bed with you! Here is picture- see if you can pot the real Schmurgen!As you can see these is highly uncompromising hand made items, which I gonna sell at all future Schmurgen cons, as well as any othet conventions I can get to (possibly including Leeds!

As you can see they are lovingly crafted with detailed masks and removable trousers. schmurgen dolls is retailing for £10 each, and you get a free minicomic! If you are interested in ordering one, or of getting my Uncompromising comic, then email schmurgen (dot) jonerhaffs (a t) gmail (d o t) com

Other big news is I gonna be taking part in nanowrimo. This is where you have to write a 50,000 word novel in November. Yeaterday was the 1st and I already got a good start. I gonna post some on here pretty soon.

Monday, 12 October 2009

Schmelephant Wergends!

Hello, there, Schmurgaholics! I know many of you is clamering to know how was Schmurgen con 2: Birning ham International Comics Shendig! Well soon I will satisfy your anxiety! But first I gonna say a fer things about this site called Elephant words.

Elephants words is a grete website filled with uncompromising writing created by a talented man called Nikolai Pappycoconuts. There are six regular writers, and every sunday one of them posted a photo and then they all take turns to write a story based on the photo. Is cool, yes! And what's even cooler is that Schmurgen is one of the writers! I have been on the site for a while now, and I am planning to stay until they get sickened of me!

Anyway, last week it was my turn to post the photo, and I posted a picture of a comic convention so that I can write about schmurgen con! Of course as the siteis based around fiction I have did a fictionalised basis of Schmurgen con, but reas insured it is closer than the truth!

Click here to read about 'Jurgen Con too!'

Click here for list of all my elephatns!

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Schmurgen Con 2 is goooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I haf good news for friends and fans of teh greatest comics convention experience in the entire UNIVERSE:

Yes. That is right my little dingkers - Schmurgen Con 2 is on.

EDIT: Even more good news. I haf made a poster!

As usual Schmurgen Con (2!) is hapening at the New Glob Pub in Mile End london. It is here, and very close to Mile End central tube line (don't use teh District line it is siht!)

Special guests are diffcult to organise in 24hours notice, but I think these people will come. Especially Nixsigt who is my boss on Elephant Words!

EDIT: David Bailie (I sleep on his coach) has been to tell me that since Schmurgen Con 2 is on Saturday I have more then 24hours to rganise. Which reminds me - it is his birthday this week. Also famose writer Leon Chewit. Also there will be three copies of new B/A.A.S.T.Ar.D.s Anthology by Dam Lester and Francesca Casaveti at Schmurgen Con. Only 3!!! Buy them while they are hot!

New poster:

EDIT: Also on sale will be my new comic entittled How To Make Comic Convention The Uncomrpomising Way. Will be sure to collectors iteam and worth billions when you are dead.

EDIT: Animation in this poste is NSFW! Do not watch if you at work. You will be fired! Oh. Too late.

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

I am not Shane Azzopardee

Hello, anonymous internet based friends! Recently several peoples have emailed me saying 'Are you really Shane Azzopardee of The Necessery Monster comic?' One person even has claimed that he knows for certan That I am Shane, and that Schmurgen is an invention of him and Dan Goobery to help relax after working on The Necessary Monster for so long. Well this is wrong! Schmurgen is his own person! That piccture is not Shane Azzopardee in mask! It is Schmurgen! And Schmurgen wear mask for personal reasons! And even though Shane Azzopardi is tremendous artist capable of drawing in different styles he did not draw Schmurgen comic! Schmurgen did!

Sunday, 21 June 2009

176 And Midnight Meat Train

Hello Schmurgen Friends! I am hard in work on new comics which will be sale at 176 exhibition on 27th june! I no have my own space but Dam Lester and David Bailiy have kindly offered to have me across their table. Thanks, you gays!

Movie review: Midnight Meat Train

This movie not very good, but it has intreging plot. It about this photographer who is not very good. Even Brooke Shields tell him 'you no good!' Then one day he thinks he sees a killer on late night train and he start following him around. Not to stop him, but so he can take uncompromising photos! This my kind of film I think! But after that it goes down hill. Story is boring and predictable and characters are flat as my friend Oyvin after he was crushed by elephant in unfortunate zoo tragedy. It had some good points- uncompromising photos, suddeen unexplained monsters that appear at end with no explanation and man who got his balls cut off in Hostel 2, but overall it was dissapointment.

Monday, 11 May 2009

No toilet paper and the eagel awards

Hello comics friends! I am finally putting up a new page, but first I would like to ask something of you all. Uk eagle comics awards are soon, and I would be greatful if you nominate me! Please go to and put Schmurgen Jonerhaffs in best newcomer categories, and put Schmurgen Jonerhaff's Uncompromising Comic in best new comic (unless you are nominating yourself in those categories, then please nominate me for different ones!)

Now here is another page of comics.

Sunday, 19 April 2009

A visit to the doctor-guest comic by Rob Jackson

Hello friends! I am pleased to present Schmurgen's first fan art! It is by Rob Jackson, who make many fine comics, which can order from

Thursday, 2 April 2009

How To Meet Girls

Here is new comic. It is titled 'How to Meet Girls'

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

I eat door locks for breakfasts!

Hello English comics friends! Soon I gonna post more uncompromising comics on here, but today, I post uncompromising review of someone else comic. The comic I look at is Dr Who- The Forgotten #2 by Tony Lee and Pia Guerra (Hey Joey Gordon! I make sure to spell name right this time!)

I have friend back in Norway who sometimes he say stupid things. But weird thing is, when he say it first it just sound a little stupid, but when you think over it later, you realise it actually is hugely stupid, and it seems even more so each time you are remember it. I reminded of him when I read Tony Lee comic. Here is example:
In this page bald supporting man says that it is difficult to fix door, then dr who assistant lady smugly point ot that for her is easy to do. This type of scene is cliche even in Norway, but here is done so badly. Look at line: "I override door locks for fun." First I think,- You override door locks for fun? What kind of social life are you having? When friends invite you bowling or to cinema are you replying to them, "No I prefer to stay home and override door locks!" No one does this! Is ridiculous!
But then on the toilet I realise line is even more stupid. Why would someone override door locks for fun? Because of the challenge! It often fun to do challenging things, but to be challenge they have to be difficult! If assistant lady override doorlocks for fun, this imply that she find it a challenge, but the whole point of her speak is to show that she do not find it a challenge. If she say "I override door locks in sleep" then it make more sense. It still be lazy unimaginitive cliche, bit at least then it is lazy unimaginitive cliche that make sense. Sadly this actually most memorable part of comic. I already forget rest.

Schmurgen Con success!

Thanks to all who come to Schmurgen con! I only able to attend for brief period but it was a good turnout and everyone haff fun! Dan Fish post excellent report of day at
Next time I will try to be there longer and have bigger comic to sell!

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

What if Spider-Man was black?

Here is latest uncompromising comic! It is titled 'what if Spider-Man was black?'

Monday, 23 March 2009

Schmurgen Con

Dear friends

I have the hell hangover. I feel my brains about to burst - maybe out of my nose. I always want to be making the comics, and always in an UNCOMPROMISING STYLE. But sometimes it is difficult.

I also want to sell my comics. Like Shan Azoparde and Oly Smith, they become very fameous and rich from the comics selling. They are both good gays. They everywhere from Dick Deppey's Journaliste!! to Gary Gordon's Forbidn Planet Blog. to

And so I think... I think... What can I do to be more like these gays.

And I do what they do - I do it and I do it these week!

I cannot get a stall and Paddy's Comics and Web Thing (they all sell outfor thirty pounds! Who have the thirty pounds? How many comics you sell?) , so I have my own. I already talk to pub in Mile End (where the awwsome David Bailie live, he say I sleep on his coach!) and am I now very proud to anounce.

Schmurgen Con

It will be happening in pub called The New Globe. If you click on these link:

You se eit. It is near under the big green bridge. It is on the way to The Other Thing if you get off at Mile End, and just walk past the Thing if you get off at Steepney Green station tube.

I try to open the pub at 1pm, but the owner he says I have to pay for barman. I try to sort these thing and will make another big anounce. But for now, my good friends........

Saturday 28th March
New Globe pub (upstairs - with tabels and chairs!)
Mile End

Schmurgen Con

Yeah baby!

Please leave a comment to tell me you want to come, and to say if you want space on a table to sell your comics. I will have mine, but I warn you they are in UNCOMPROMISING STYLE.

Already agreed special guest
Shan Azzoparde
Oly Smith
David Bailie
Dan Lester

And comics from
E-Merlin Gooberry
Douglas NOble (strip for me! He is very good English)
Modern Monstroisity - TALES FROM THE FLAT
Jake 'lady boys of the DC universe' Harold


Come on gays!

Saturday, 21 March 2009

Hooorae for London

I haf been drinking with my new friends of the London Comics Scene. Many of them are writing and drawing for a comic called 200AD, which we do not haf in the Norske, but which look s a bit like our bondage comics back hom.

I like them very much these London people. I saw one drink until he sick on himself. Hi Tony, Hi Matt and Hi Dan! You are all wonerful and I haf wonerful time with you all.

Hello also to my many facbook friends. I hope you like my new comics.
There will be more this week. I lok forward to making you all Schmurgen!

Schmurgen goes to Soho- A true story in uncompromising style!

Friday, 20 March 2009


Here is a new Schmurgen comic. I hope you like. Thank you Douglas Noble for help me with english!

Thursday, 5 March 2009

Welcome to my blog!

Hallo! I am Schmurgen! This is my new comics blog, on which I will be posting comics a draw, from high school all the way to present day, all drawn in uncompromising style!